He had adopted
Spain for his country, and had intimated a design to spend his days
there, yet now was an inhabitant of this district, and disguised by
the habiliments of a clown! What could have obliterated the
impressions of his youth and made him abjure his religion and his
country? What subsequent events had introduced so total a change
in his plans? In withdrawing from Spain, had he reverted to the
religion of his ancestors? or was it true that his former
conversion was deceitful, and that his conduct had been swayed by
motives which it was prudent to conceal?
Hours were consumed in revolving these ideas. My meditations were
intense; and, when the series was broken, I began to reflect with
astonishment on my situation. From the death of my parents till
the commencement of this year my life had been serene and blissful
beyond the ordinary portion of humanity; but now my bosom was
corroded by anxiety. I was visited by dread of unknown dangers,
and the future was a scene over which clouds rolled and thunders
muttered. I compared the cause with the effect, and they seemed
disproportioned to each other.
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