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Various

"Punchinello, Volume 1, No. 01, April 2, 1870"

On the following
Christmas, in the presence of the grab income-bents of offices, the
Inspectors shall proceed to divide the proceeds of these taxable
contributions, and one half of these proceeds shall be equally divided
among the grab income-bents of offices. The other half shall be devoted
to paving every conceivable surface of the city with wooden pavement.
Sec. 12. Owners of real estate in the city of New York are hereby allowed
to make their own arrangements with the gas companies for the supply of
light; but nothing herein shall be construed to devote any part of the
proceeds to light the public streets at night and real estate owners
shall be allowed to make their own arrangements for the supply of water
with the grab income-bents of the Croton Grab Board.
Sec. 13. The sewers of the city shall be converted to burial places for
persons assassinated at political meetings.
Sec. 14. Nothing herein contained shall be so construed as to permit any
judge to grant an injunction against any grabbers of the offices.
Sec. 15. The "dead-beats," heretofore known as policemen and soldiers of
the first division, are hereby legislated out of office, and it shall be
a felony punishable with assassination for any one to go unarmed with a
six-shooter.


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