"Why," sais I, "skilful politicians, who so arrange the electoral
districts of a State, that in an election one party may obtain an
advantage over its opponent, even though the latter may possess a
majority of the votes in the State; the truth is, it would be a long
story to go through, but we are corrupted by our liberals with our own
money, that's a fact. Would you believe it now, that so long ago as
six years, and that is a great while in our history seein' we are
growing at such a rate, there were sixty thousand offices in the gift
of the general government, and patronage to the extent of more than
forty million of dollars, besides official pickings and parquisites,
which are nearly as much more in the aggregate? Since then it has
grown with our growth. Or would you believe that a larger sum is
assessed in the city of New York, than would cover the expenses of the
general government at Washington? Constructive mileage may be
considered as the principle of the party, and literally runs through
everything."
"What strange terms you have, Mr Slick," said he; "do pray tell me
what that is."
"Snooping and stool-pidgeoning," sais I.
"Constructive mileage, snooping and stool-pidgeoning!" said he, and he
put his hands on his ribs, and running round in a circle, laughed
until he nearly fell on the ground fairly tuckered out, "what do you
mean?"
"Constructive mileage," says I, "is the same allowance for journeys
supposed to be performed as for those that are actually made, to and
from the seat of government.
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