Now, Massa, when missus and me went
to wisit de president's plantation, I see his cook, Mr Sallust, didn't
know nuffin' bout parin' de soup. What you tink he did, Massa? stead
ob poundin' de clams in a mortar fust, he jist cut 'em in quarters and
puts 'em in dat way. I nebber see such ignorance since I was raised.
He made de soup ob water, and actilly put some salt in it; when it was
sarved up--it was rediculous disgraceful--he left dem pieces in de
tureen, and dey was like leather. Missus said to me:
"'Sorrow,' sais she, 'I shall starve here; dem military men know
nuffin' but bout hosses, dogs, and wine; but dey ain't delicate no way
in dere tastes, and yet to hear 'em talk you'd be most afeered to
offer 'em anyting, you'd tink dey was de debbel and all.'"
"Did she use those words, Sorrow?"
"Well, not zactly," he said, scratching his head, "dey was dicksionary
words and werry fine, for she had great 'finement bout her; but dat
was de meanin' ob 'em.
"'Now, Sorrow,' she said, 'tell me de trut, wasn't dat soup now made
of water?'
"'Yes, Missus, it was,' said I, 'I seed it wid my own eyes.'
"'I taut so,' she said, 'why dat cook ain't fit to tend a bear trap,
and bait it wid sheep's innerds.'"
"Did she use those words?"
"Why laws a massy, Massa! I can't swear to de identical words; how can
I? but as I was a sayin', dere was 'finement in 'em, werry long, werry
crooked, and werry pretty, but dat was all de sense ob 'em.
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