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Haliburton, Thomas Chandler, 1796-1865

"Nature and Human Nature"

Let us pass dis law, Missus, and fowl
stealin' is done--de ting is dead.'
"'Well, you may try it for six months,' she say, 'only no whippin'. We
must find some oder punishment,' she said.
"'I ab it,' sais I, 'Missus! Oh Lord a massy, Missus! oh dear missus!
I got an inwention as bright as bran new pewter button. I'll shave de
head of a tief close and smooth. Dat will keep his head warm in de
sun, and cool at night; do him good. He can't go courtin' den, when he
ab 'no wool whar de wool ought to grow,' and spile his 'frolicken, and
all de niggaroons make game ob him. It do more good praps to tickle
fancy ob niggars dan to tickle dere hide. I make him go to church
reglar den to show hisself and his bald pate. Yah, yah, yah!'"
"Come, Sorrow," I said, "I am tired of all this foolery; either tell
me how you propose to cook the clams, or substitute something else in
their place."
"Well, Massa," he said, "I will; but railly now when I gits talkin'
bout my dear ole missus, pears to me as if my tongue would run for
ebber. Dis is de last voyage I ebber make in a fishin' craft. I is
used to de first society, and always moved round wid ladies and
gentlemen what had 'finement in 'em. Well, Massa, now I comes to de
clams. First of all, you must dig de clams. Now dere is great art in
diggin' clams.
"Where you see little hole like worm hole dere is de clam.


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