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Haliburton, Thomas Chandler, 1796-1865

"Nature and Human Nature"

Yah, yah, yah.
"'Well, Missus,' sais I, 'dem clams do mind me ob chickens. Now,
Missus, will you skuse me if I git you the receipt Miss Phillis and I
ab cyphered out, how to presarve chickens?'
"'Yes,' she said, 'I will. Let me hear it. Dat is sumthen new.'
"'Well, Missus, you know how you and I is robbed by our niggars like
so many minks. Now, Missus, sposin' you and I pass a law dat all fat
poultry is to be brought to me to buy, and den we keep our fat poultry
locked up; and if dey steal de lean fowls, and we buy 'em, we saves de
fattenin' of 'em, and gibs no more arter all dan de vally of food and
tendin', which is all dey gits now, for dere fowls is always de best
fed in course; and when we ab more nor we wants for you and me, den I
take 'em to market and sell 'em; and if dey will steal 'em arter dat,
Missus, we must try ticklin'; dere is nuffin' like it. It makes de
down fly like a feather-bed. It makes niggars wery sarcy to see white
tief punished tree times as much as dey is; dat are a fac, Missus. A
poor white man can't work, and in course he steal. Well, his time
bein' no airthly use, dey gib him six month pensiontary; and niggar,
who can airn a dollar or may be 100 cents a day, only one month. I
spise a poor white man as I do a skunk. Dey is a cuss to de country;
and it's berry hard for you and me to pay rates to support 'em: our
rates last year was bominable.


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