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Haliburton, Thomas Chandler, 1796-1865

"Nature and Human Nature"

I wish
I was to home agin, Yankees treat dere coloured breddren like dogs,
dat is a fact; but he is excellent man, Massa Captain, bery good man,
and though I don't believe it's a possible ting Joy is in heaben, I is
certain de captain, when de Lord be good nuff to take him, will go
dere."
"The captain is right," said I, "Sorrow, put down that bottle; you
have had more than enough already--put it down;" but he had no idea of
obeying, and held on to it.
"If you don't put that down, Sorrow," I said, "I will break it over
your head."
"Oh! Massa," said he, "dat would be a sin to waste dis oloriferous rum
dat way; just let me drink it first, and den I will stand, and you may
break de bottle on my head; it can't hurt niggar's head, only cut a
little wool."
"Come, no more of this nonsense," I said, "put it down;" and seeing me
in earnest, he did so.
"Now," sais I, "tell us how you are going to cook the clams."
"Oh! Massa," said he, "do let me finish de story about de way I larned
it.
"'Sorrow,' said missus, 'I am going to take a long journey all de way
to Boston, and de wedder is so cold, and what is wus, de people is so
cold, it makes me shudder,' and she shivered like cold ague fit, and I
was afraid she would unjoint de sofa.
"'Don't lay too close to them, Missus,' sais I.
"'What,' said she, and she raised herself up off ob de pillar, and she
larfed, and rolled ober and ober, and tosticated about almost in a
conniption fit, 'you old goose,' said she, 'you onaccountable fool,'
and den she larfed and rolled ober agin, I tought she would a tumbled
off on de floor, 'do go way; you is too foolish to talk to, but turn
my pillar again.


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