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Haliburton, Thomas Chandler, 1796-1865

"Nature and Human Nature"

Massa,' sais I, 'me and missus don't low ablution talk here, on
no account whatsomever, de only larnin' we lows of is whippin' fellows
who tice niggars to rections, and de slaves of dis plantation will
larn you as sure as you is bawn, for dey lub missus dearly. You had
better kummence de long journey usself. Sallust, bring out dis
gentleman hoss; and Plutarch, go fetch de saddle-bag down.'
"I led his hoss by where de dogs was, and, sais I, 'Massa, I can't
help larfin' no how I can fix it, at dat ar story you told me about
dat young rascal Joy. Dat story do smell rader tall, dat are a fac;
yah, yah, yah,' and I fell down and rolled ober and ober on de grass,
and it's lucky I did, for as I dodged he fetched a back-handed blow at
me wid his huntin' whip, that would a cut my head off if it had tooked
me round my neck.
"My missus larfed right out like any ting, tho' it was so hot, and
when missus larf I always know she is good-natured.
"'Sorrow,' said missus, 'I am afraid you is more rogue dan fool.'
"'Missus,' sais I, 'I nebber stole the vally of a pin's head off ob
dis plantation, I scorn to do such a nasty, dirty, mean action, and
you so kind as to gib me more nor I want, and you knows dat, Missus;
you knows it, oderwise you wouldn't send me to de bank, instead ob
white oberseer, Mr Succatash, for six, seben, or eight hundred dollars
at a time.


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