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Haliburton, Thomas Chandler, 1796-1865

"Nature and Human Nature"

Lord a massy, Massa, you know dis is notin' but a fishin'-craft,
salt pork and taters one day, and salt beef and taters next day, den
twice laid for third day, and den begin agin. Why, dere neber has been
no cooking on board of dis here fore-and-after till you yourself comed
on board. Dey don't know nuffin'. Dey is as stupid and ignorant as
coots."
Here his eye rested on the captain, when with the greatest coolness he
gave me a wink, and went on without stopping.
"Scept massa captain," said he, "and he do know what is good, dat ar a
fact, but he don't like to be ticular, so he takes same fare as men,
and dey isn't jealous. 'Sorrow,' sais he, 'make no stinction for me. I
is used to better tings, but I'll put up wid same fare as men.'"
"Sorrow," said the captain, "how can you tell such a barefaced
falsehood. What an impudent liar you are, to talk so before my face. I
never said anything of the kind to you."
"Why, Massa, now," said Sorrow, "dis here child is wide awake, that
are a fac, and no mistake, and it's onpossible he is a dreamin'. What
is it you did say den, when you ordered dinner?"
"I gave my orders and said nothing more."
"Exactly, Massa, I knowed I was right; dat is de identical ting I
said. You was used to better tings; you made no stinctions, and
ordered all the same for boaf of you. Hoss-radish, Massa Slick," said
he, "I wish I had some, or could get some ashore for you, but
hoss-radish ain't French, and dese folks nebber hear tell ob him.


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