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Haliburton, Thomas Chandler, 1796-1865

"Nature and Human Nature"


Well, when a couple is married now, they give up a whole month to each
other, what an everlastin' sacrifice, ain't it, out of a man's short
life? The reason is, they say, the metheglin gets sour after that, and
ain't palatable no more, and what is left of it is used for picklin'
cucumbers, peppers, and nastertions, and what not. Now, as Brother
Eldad, the doctor, says, let us dissect this phrase, and find out what
one whole moon means, and then we shall understand what this wonderful
thing is. The new moon now, as a body might say, ain't nothing. It's
just two small lines of a semicircle, like half a wheel, with a little
strip of white in it, about as big as a cart tire, and it sets a
little after sundown; and as it gives no light, you must either use a
candle or go to bed in the dark: now that's the first week, and it's
no great shakes to brag on, is it? Well, then there is the first
quarter, and calling that the first which ought to be second, unless
the moon has only three quarters, which sounds odd, shows that the new
moon counts for nothin'. Well, the first quarter is something like the
thing, though not the real genuine article either. It's better than
the other, but its light don't quite satisfy us neither. Well, then
comes the full moon, and that is all there is, as one may say. Now,
neither the moon nor nothin' else can be more than full, and when you
have got all, there is nothing more to expect.


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