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Haliburton, Thomas Chandler, 1796-1865

"Nature and Human Nature"

It has been
nourished for the voyage, it has been fed with brandy. It is heady,
for when they return to their fair friends, their hands are not quite
steady, they are apt to spill things over the ladies dresses (but they
are so good-natured, they only laugh; for they never wear a dress but
wunst). And their eyes sparkle like jewels, and they look at their
partners as if they would eat 'em up. And I guess they tell them so,
for they start sometimes, and say:
"'Oh, well now, that's too bad! Why how you talk! Well, travellin'
hasn't improved you?'
"But it must be a charming thing to be eat up, for they look delighted
at the very idea of it; and their mammas seem pleased that they are so
much to the taste of these travelled gentlemen.
"Well then, dancing is voted a bore by the handsomest couple in the
room, and they sit apart, and the uninitiated think they are making
love. And they talk so confidentially, and look so amused; they seem
delighted with each other. But they are only criticising.
"'Who is pink skirt?'
"'Blue-nose Mary.'
"'What in the world do they call her Blue-nose for?'
"'It is a nickname for the Nova Scotians. Her father is one; he made
his fortune by a diving-bell.'
"'Did he? Well, it's quite right then it should go with a belle.'
"'How very good! May I repeat that? You do say such clever things! And
who is that pale girl that reminds you of brown holland, bleached
white? She looks quite scriptural; she has a proud look and a high
stomach.


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