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Haliburton, Thomas Chandler, 1796-1865

"Nature and Human Nature"

They are
discussing the great event of the season--the vote of want of
confidence of last night, the resignation of the provincial ministry
this morning, and the startling fact that the head upholsterer has
been sent for to furnish a new cabinet, that won't warp with the heat
and fly apart. It is very important news; it has been telegraphed to
Washington, and was considered so alarming, the President was waked up
to be informed of it. He rubbed his eyes and said:
"Well, I acknowledge the coin, you may take my hat. I hope I may be
cow-hided if I knew they had a ministry. I thought they only had a
governor, and a regiment for a constitution. Will it affect the
stocks? How it will scare the Emperor of Rooshia, won't it?" and he
roared so loud he nearly choked. That just shows (everybody regards
the speaker with silence, for he is an oracle), says Omniscient Pitt.
That just shows how little the Yankees know and how little the English
care about us. "If we want to be indepindent and respictable," sais an
Hibernian magnate, "we must repale the Union." But what is this? here
is a fellow tied hand and foot on a truck, which is conveying him to
the police court, swearing and screaming horribly. What is the meaning
of all that?
A little cynical old man, commonly called the major, looks knowing,
puts on a quizzical expression, and touching his nose with the tip of
his finger, says, "One of the new magistrates qualifying as he goes
down to be sworn into office.


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