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Haliburton, Thomas Chandler, 1796-1865

"Nature and Human Nature"

"
It ryled me that, so I just steps up to him, as savage as a meat-axe,
intendin' to throw him down-stairs, when the feller turned as pale as
a rabbit's belly, I vow I could hardly help laughin', so I didn't
touch him at all.
"But," sais I, "you and the cat in the bag may run to Old Nick and see
which will get to him first, and say tag--I don't want the secret, for
I don't believe you know it yourself. If I was to see a bit of the
cement, and break it up myself, I'd tell you in a moment whether it
was good for anything."
"Well," sais he, "I'll tell you;" and he gave me all the particulars.
Sais I, "It's no good, two important ingredients are wantin', and you
haven't tempered it right, and it won't stick."
Sais he, "I guess it will stick till I leave the city, and that will
answer me and my eends."
"No," sais I, "it won't, it will ruin you for ever, and injure the
reputation of Connecticut among the nations of the airth. Come to me
when I return to Slickville, and I will show you the proper thing in
use, tested by experience, in tanks, in brick and stone walls, and in
a small furnace. Give me two thousand dollars for the receipt, take
out a patent, and your fortune is made."
"Well," sais he, "I will if it's all you say, for there is a great
demand for the article, if it's only the true Jeremiah."
"Don't mind what I say," said I, "ask it what it says, there it is, go
look at it.


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