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Haliburton, Thomas Chandler, 1796-1865

"Nature and Human Nature"

Lord, I
shall never forget a rise I once took out of one of these magnetized
officials, who know all about the colonies, tho' he never saw one. I
don't want any man to call me coward, and say I won't take it
parsonal. There was a complaint made by some of our folks against the
people of the Lower provinces seizing our coasters under pretence they
were intrudin' on the fisheries. Our embassador was laid up at the
time with rheumatism, which he called gout, because it sounded
diplomatic. So says he, "Slick, take this letter and deliver it to the
minister, and give him some verbal explanations."
Well, down I goes, was announced and ushered in, and when he saw me,
he looked me all over as a tailor does a man before he takes his
measure. It made me hoppin' mad I tell you, for in a general way I
don't allow any man to turn up his nose at me without having a shot at
it. So when I sat down I spit into the fire, in a way to put it out
amost, and he drew back and made a face, a leettle, just a leettle
uglier than his natural one was.
"Bad habit," sais I, "that'of spittin', ain't it?" lookin' up at him
as innocent as you please, and makin' a face exactly like his.
"Very," said he, and he gave a shudder.
Sais I, "I don't know whether you are aware of it or not, but most bad
habits are catching."
"I should hope not," said he, and he drew a little further off.


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