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Haliburton, Thomas Chandler, 1796-1865

"Nature and Human Nature"

I will heap
coals of fire on your head.'
"'Dat's right, Missus,' sais I, 'burn the villain up, but burn him
with green wood so as to make slow fire, dat's de ticket, Missus, it
sarves him right.'
"Oh, if you eber heard yellin', Massa, you'd a heard it den. Plue he
trowed himself down on de ground, and he rolled and he kicked and he
screamed like mad.
"'Don't make a noise, Plutarch,' said she, 'I can't stand it. I isn't
a goin' to put you to def. You shall lib. I will gib you a wife.'
"'Oh, tankee, Missus,' said he, 'oh, I will pray for you night and
day, when I ain't at work or asleep, for eber and eber. Amen.'
"'You shall ab Cloe for a wife.'
"Cloe, Massa, was seventy-five, if she was one blessed second old. She
was crippled with rheumatis, and walked on crutches, and hadn't a
tooth in her head. She was just doubled up like a tall nigger in a
short bed.
"'Oh, Lord, Missus,' said Plutarch, 'hab mercy on dis sinner, O dear
Missus, O lubly Missus, oh hab mercy on dis child.'
"'Tankee, Missus,' said Cloe. 'God bless you, Missus, I is quite appy
now. I is a leetle too young for dat spark, for I is cuttin' a new set
o' teeth now, and ab suffered from teethin' most amazin', but I will
make him a lubin' wife. Don't be shy, Mr Plue,' said she, and she up
wid one ob her crutches and gub him a poke in de ribs dat made him
grunt like a pig.


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