Now prove it.'
"And he pulled out one of my printed advertisements, and said, 'Read
that.'
"Well, I read it. 'It ain't there,' said I.
"'Ain't it?' said he. 'I leave it to Vanderbelt.'
"'Mr Slick,' said he, 'you have lost--it is here.'
"'Will you bet fifty dollars,' said I, 'though you have seen it, that
it's there?'
"'Yes,' said he, 'I will.'
"'Done,' said I. 'Now how do you spell heavy?'
"'H-e-a-v-y,' said he.
"'Exactly,' sais I; 'so do I. But this is spelt heav-ey. I did it on
purpose. I scorn to take a man in about a horse, so I published his
defect to all the world. I said he was too heavey for harness, and so
he is. He ain't worth fifty dollars--I wouldn't take him as a gift--he
ain't worth von dam?'
"'Well, I did see that,' said he, 'but I thought it was an error of
the press, or that the owner couldn't spell.'
"'Oh!' sais I, 'don't take me for one of your Dutch boors, I beg of
you. I can spell, but you can't read, that's all. You remind me,' sais
I, 'of a feller in Slickville when the six-cent letter stamps came in
fashion. He licked the stamp so hard, he took all the gum off, and it
wouldn't stay on, no how he could fix it, so what does he do but put a
pin through it, and writes on the letter, "Paid, if the darned thing
will only stick." Now, if you go and lick the stamp etarnally that
way, folks will put a pin through it, and the story will stick to you
for ever and ever.
Pages:
369
370
371
372
373
374
375
376
377
378
379
380
381
382
383
384
385
386
387
388
389
390
391
392
393