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Haliburton, Thomas Chandler, 1796-1865

"Nature and Human Nature"

Three of the officers have nicknames, a very
nice thing to induce good fellowship, especially as it has no tendency
whatever to promote quarrels. There is Lauder, of the Rifles, he is so
short, they call him Pistol; he has a year to grow yet, and may become
a great gun some of these days. Russel takes a joke good-humouredly,
and therefore is so fortunate as to get more than his share of them,
accordingly he goes by the name of Target, as every one takes a shot
at him. Duke is so bad a shot, he has twice nearly pinked the
marksman, so he is called Trigger. He always lays the blame of his
want of skill on that unfortunate appendage of the gun, as it is
either too hard or too quick on the finger. Then there is young
Bulger, and as everybody pronounces it as if it had two 'g's' in it,
he corrects them and says, 'g' soft, my dear fellow, if you please; so
he goes by the name of 'G' soft. Oh, the conversation of the third
estate is so pretty, I could listen to it for ever.
"'Aunt,' sais Miss Diantha, 'do you know what
gyp--gypsy--gypsymum--gypsymuming is? Did you ever hear how I stutter
to-day? I can't get a word out hardly. Ain't it provoking?'
"Well, stammering is provoking; but a pretty little accidental
impediment of speech like that, accompanied with a little graceful bob
of the head, is very taking, ain't it?
"'Gypsuming,' sais the wise matron, 'is the plaster of Paris trade,
dear.


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