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Haliburton, Thomas Chandler, 1796-1865

"Nature and Human Nature"

But if she was
a woman, doctor, she had more clear grit than most men have. After a
while she took her hand off her eyes and rubbed them, and she opened
her mouth and yawned so, you could see down to her garters amost.
"'Dear me!' said she, trying to smile; but, oh me! how she looked! Her
eyes had no more expression than a China-aster, and her face was so
deadly pale, it made the rouge she had put on look like the hectic of
a dying consumption. Her ugly was out in full bloom, I tell you. 'Dear
cousin Sam,' said she, 'I am so fatigued with my labours as
presidentess of this institution, that I can hardly keep my peepers
open. I think, if I recollect--for I am ashamed to say I was a
noddin'--that you proposed (that word lit her eyes up) that I should
go with you to visit dear Sally. Oh, Sam!' said she (how she bit in
her temper that hitch, didn't she?) 'you see, and you saw it at first,
I can't leave on so short a notice; but if my sweet Sally would come
and visit me, how delighted I should be! Sam, I must join my class
now. How happy it has made me to see you again after so many years!
Kiss me, dear; good bye--God bless you!' and she yawned again till she
nearly dislocated her jaw. 'Go on and write books, Sam, for no man is
better skilled in human natur and spares it less than yourself.' What
a reproachful look she gave me then! 'Good bye, dear!'
"Well, when I closed the door, and was opening of the outer one, I
heard a crash.


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