'What do they teach
there but music, dancing, and drawing? The deuce a thing else; but
here is Spanish, French, German, Italian, botany, geology, mineralogy,
icthiology, conchology, theology--'
"'Do you teach angeolology and doxyology?' sais I.
"'Yes, angeolology and doxyology,' she said, not knowing what she was
a talking about.
"'And occult sciences?' sais I.
"'Yes, all the sciences. London and Paris, eh! Ask a lady from either
place if she knows the electric battery from the magnetic--'
"'Or a needle from a pole,' sais I.
"'Yes,' sais she, without listening, 'or any such question, and see if
she can answer it."
"She resumed her seat.
"'Forgive my enthusiasm,' she said, 'Sam, you know I always had a
great deal of that.'
"'I know,' said I, 'you had the smallest foot and ankle of anybody in
our country. My! what fine-spun glass heels you had! Where in the
world have you stowed them to?' pretendin' to look down for them.
"'Kept them to kick you with,' she said, 'if you are sassy.'
"Thinks I to myself, what next? as the woman said to the man who
kissed her in the tunnel, you are coming out, Liddy.
"'Kick,' said I, 'oh, you wouldn't try that, I am sure, let me do what
I would.'
"'Why not?' said she.
"'Why,' sais I, 'if you did you would have to kick so high, you would
expose one of the larger limbs.'
"'Mr Slick,' said she, 'I trust you will not so far forget what is due
to a lady, as to talk of showing her larger limbs, it's not decent.
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