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Haliburton, Thomas Chandler, 1796-1865

"Nature and Human Nature"

I am a
good-natured man in a general way when I am pleased, but it ain't safe
to ryle me, I tell you. When I am spotty on the back, I am dangerous.
I bit in my breath, and tried to look cool, for I was determined to
take revenge out of her.
"'Allow me to say, Sir,' said she, a perkin' up her mouth like the end
of a silk purse, 'that I think your intrusion is as unwelcome as it is
unpardonable. May I ask the favour of you to withdraw? if not, I must
introduce you to the watchman.'
"'I came,' sais I, 'Miss Adam, having heard of your distinguished
college in the saloons of Paris and London, to make a proposal to you;
but, like a bull--'
"'Oh dear!' said she, 'to think I should have lived to hear such a
horrid word, in this abode of learning!'
"'But,' I went on without stopping, 'like a bull in a chiny-shop, I
see I have got into the wrong pew; so nothin' remains for me but to
beg pardon, keep my proposal for where it will be civilly received, at
least, and back out.'
"She was as puzzled as the maid. But women ain't throwed off their
guard easily. If they are in a dark place, they can feel their way
out, if they can't see it. So says she, dubious like:
"'About a child, I suppose?'
"'It is customary in Europe,' sais I, 'I believe, to talk about the
marriage first, isn't it? but I have been so much abroad, I am not
certified as to usages here.


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