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Haliburton, Thomas Chandler, 1796-1865

"Nature and Human Nature"

Out they flew through the door
at the other eend of the room, some up and some down-stairs, singing
out, 'A man! a man!' till I thought they would have hallooed their
daylights out. Away I flew after them, calling out, 'Where is he? show
him to me, and I'll soon pitch into him!' when who should I see but
Miss Liddy in the entry, as stiff and as starch as a stand-up shirt
collar of a frosty day. She looked like a large pale icicle, standing
up on its broad end, and cold enough to give you the ague to look at
her.
"'Mr Slick,' said she, 'may I ask what is the meaning of all this
unseemly behaviour in the presence of young ladies of the first
families in the State?'
"Says I, 'Miss Adam,' for as she used the word Mr as a handle to me, I
thought I'de take a pull at the Miss,' some robber or housebreaker has
got in, I rather think, and scared the young feminine gender students,
for they seemed to be running after somebody, and I thought I would
assist them.'
"'May I ask, Sir,' a drawin' of herself up to her full height, as
straight and as prim as a Lombardy poplar, or rather, a bull-rush, for
that's all one size. 'May I ask, Sir, what is the object of your visit
here--at a place where no gentlemen are received but the parents or
guardians of some of the children.'
"I was as mad as a hatter; I felt a little bit vain of the embassy to
London, and my Paris dress, particularly my boots and gloves, and all
that, and I will admit, there is no use talkin', I rather kinder
sorter thought she would be proud of the connection.


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