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Haliburton, Thomas Chandler, 1796-1865

"Nature and Human Nature"


It do seem nateral to me, for when our young niggars go sparkin' and
spendin' evenings, dey most commonly marries. It stand to reason. But,
Massa, I is bery bad indeed wid dis dreadful pain in my infernal
parts--I is indeed. Oh," said he, smackin' his lips, and drainin' his
glass, "dat is def to a white man, but life to a niggar; dat is
sublime. What a pity it is though dey make de glasses so almighty
tunderin' small; de man dat inwented dem couldn't a had no remaginable
nose at all, dat are a fac."
"But the colour of Adam?" said I.
"Oh, Massa," he said, "you knows bery well he was a black gentleman,
and Missus Eve a most splendid Swanga black lady. Oh yes, Massa, dey
were made black to enjoy de grand warm sun. Well, Cain was a wicked
man, cause he killed his brudder. So de Lord say to him one day,
'Cain, where is your brudder?' 'I don't know, Massa,' said he, 'I
didn't see him nowhere.' Well, de next time he asked him de sef-same
question, and he answered quite sarcy, 'How in de world does I know,'
sais he, 'I ain't my brudder's keeper.' Well, afore he know'd where he
was, de Lord said to him, in a voice of tunder, 'You murdered him, you
villain!' And Cain, he was so scared, he turned white dat very
instant. He nebber could stand heat, nor enjoy summer no more again,
nor none ob his childer arter him, but Abel's children remain black to
dis day.


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