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Haliburton, Thomas Chandler, 1796-1865

"Nature and Human Nature"

'

"Oh, Massa, dis coast is only fit for seals, porpoises, and dog-fish,
but not for gentleman, nor niggars, nor ladies. Oh, I berry bad," and
he pressed both hands on his stomach as if he was in great pain.
"Perhaps another glass of old Jamaica would set you right," I said.
"Massa, what a most a grand doctor you would ab made," he said. "Yah,
yah, yah--you know de wery identical medicine for de wery identical
disease, don't you? dat is just what natur was callin' for eber so
bad."
"Natur," sais I, "what's that, spell it."
"R-u-m," said he, "dat is human natur, and whiskey is soft sawder, it
tickle de troat so nice and go down so slick. Dem is de names my old
missus used to gib 'em. Oh, how she would a lubb'd you, if you had
spunked up to her and tied up to our plantation; she didn't fection
Yankees much, for dem and dead niggars is too cold to sleep with, and
cunnuchs (Canadians) she hated like pison, cause they 'ticed off
niggars; but she'd a took to you naterally, you is such a good cook. I
always tink, Massa, when folks take to eatin' same breakfast, same
lunch, same dinner, same tea, same supper, drinkin' same soup, lubbin'
same graby, and fectioning same preserves and pickles, and cakes and
pies, and wine, and cordials, and ice-creams, den dey plaguy soon
begin to rambition one anodder, and when dey do dat, dey is sure to
say, 'Sorrow, does you know how to make weddin' cake, and frost him,
and set him off partikelar jam, wid wices of all kinds, little
koopids, and cocks and hens, and bales of cotton, figs of baccy, and
ears of corn, and all sorts of pretty things done in clarfied sugar.


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