Well, me and Miss Phillis used to dress up hansum for dinner
to set good sample to niggars, and two ob de coloured waiters tended
on us.
"So one day, said Miss Phillis to me: 'What shall I ab de honor to
help yaw to, Mr Sorrow?'
"'Aunt Phillis,' sais I, 'skuse me one minit, I ab made a grand
'skivery.'
"'What is dat, uncle,' sais she, 'you is so clebber! I clare you is
wort your weight in gold. What in natur would our dear missus do
widout you and me? for it was me 'skivered how to cure de pip in
chickens, and make de eggs all hatch out, roosters or hens; and how to
souse young turkeys like young children in cold water to prevent
staggers, but what is your wention, Mr Sorrow?'
"'Why,' sais I, 'aunty, skuse me one half second. What does you see
out ob dat winder, Sambo? you imperent rascal.'
"'Nuffin', Sar.'
"'Well, you black niggar, if you stare bout dat way, you will see
yourself flogged next time. If you ab no manners, I must teach you for
de credit ob de plantation; hold a plate to Miss Phillis right away.
Why, aunty,' sais I, 'dis is de 'skivery; a house must have solid
foundation, but a dinner a soft one--on count ob disgestion; so I
begins wid custard and jelly (dey tastes werry well together, and are
light on de stomac), den I takes a glass ob whisky to keep 'em from
turnin' sour; dat is de first step. Sambo, pour me out some.
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