"
"Cutler," sais I, "I warn't born yesterday. The truth is, so much
nonsense is talked about niggers, I feel riled when I think of it. It
actilly makes me feel spotty on the back.1 When I was to London last,
I was asked to attend a meetin' for foundin' a college for our
coloured brethren. Uncle Tom had set some folks half crazy, and others
half mad, and what he couldn't do Aunt Harriet did. 'Well,' sais I to
myself, 'is this bunkum, or what in natur is it? If I go, I shall be
set down as a spooney abolitionist; if I don't go, I shall be set down
as an overseer or nigger driver, and not a clockmaker. I can't please
nobody any way, and, what is wus, I don't believe I shall please Mr
Slick, no how I can fix it. Howsoever, I will go and see which way the
mule kicks.'
1 This extraordinary effect of anger and fear on animals was observed
centuries before America was discovered. Statius, a writer who fully
equals Mr Slick both in his affectation and bombast, thus alludes to
it:--
"Qualis ubi audito venantum murmure tigris,
Horruit in maculas."
"As when the tigress hears the hunter's din,
Dark angry spots distain her glossy skin."
"Well, Lord Blotherumskite jumps up, and makes a speech; and what do
you think he set about proving? Why, that darkies had immortal
souls--as if any created critter ever doubted it! and he pitched into
us Yankees and the poor colonists like a thousand of bricks.
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