Perhaps
Doctor Lardner can tell, but I'll be hanged if I can, for the little
critter is so light, he don't even squash the grass. The sailor
waddles like a duck, and gives his trousers a jerk to keep them from
going down the masts (his legs) by the run; a sort of pull at the
main-brace. The soldier steps solemn and formal, as if the dead march
in Saul was a playin'. A man and his wife walk on different sides of
the street; he sneaks along head down, and she struts head up, as if
she never heard the old proverb, "Woe to the house where the hen
crows." They leave the carriage-way between them, as if they were
afraid their thoughts could be heard. When meetin' is out, a lover
lags behind, as if he had nothin' above particular to do but to go
home; and he is in no hurry to do that, for dinner won't be ready this
hour. But, as soon as folks are dodged by a blue bonnet with pink
ribbons ahead, he pulls foot like a lamplighter, and is up with the
gall that wears it in no time, and she whips her arms in hisn, and
they saunter off, to make the way as long as possible. She don't say,
"Peeowerful sermon that, warn't it?" and he don't reply, "I heerd
nothin' but the text, 'Love one another.'" Nor does he squeeze her arm
with his elbow, nor she pinch his with her little blue-gloved fingers.
Watch them after that, for they go so slow, they almost crawl, they
have so much to say, and they want to make the best of their time; and
besides, walking fast would put them out of breath.
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