Will you
promise, if I take down that ornamental sign-board, that you will give
up that kind o' business and set up a new shop?"
"I will," said he, "upon my soul--I'll be d--d if I don't. That ain't
cant now, is it?"
"Well, now you never said a truer word," said I, "you will be d--d if
you don't, that's a fact. But there is no use to run to the other
extreme, neither."
"Are you a preacher?" said he, and I thought he gave me a sly look out
of the corner of his eye, as much as to say, "how good we are, ain't
we," as sin said when the devil was rebukin' of him. The fact is, the
fellow was a thunderin' knave, but he was no fool, further than being
silly enough to be a knave.
"No," sais I, "I ain't, I scorn a man dubbin' himself preacher,
without the broughtens up to it, and a lawful warrant for being one.
And I scorn cant, it ain't necessary to trade. If you want that proved
to you, wait till I return to-morrow, and if you get to winderd of me
in a bargain, I'll give you leave to put the moustachios on me, that's
a fact. My maxim is to buy as low and sell as high as I can, provided
the article will bear a large profit. If not, I take a moderate
advance, turn the penny quick, and at it again. I will compound
something that will take out your false hair, for I don't think it
will be easy to shave it off. It all came of pretence. What in the
world was the reason you couldn't walk quietly into the cantecoi,
where people were enjoying themselves, and either join them, or if you
had scruples, keep them to yourself and sit by.
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