"Well, John Jacob see the critter wouldn't suit him, but he thought he
would carry out the joke. Sais he, 'How would you like to take charge
of my almighty everlastin' property?'
"'Delighted!' says the goney.
"'Well,' said Mr Astor, 'I am tired to death looking after it; if you
will relieve me and do my work, I'll give you what I get out of it
myself.'
"'Done!' said the man, takin' off his hat, and bowin' down to the
ground. 'I am under a great obligation to you; depend upon it you will
get a good account of it.'
"'I have no doubt of it,' said John Jacob. 'Do your part faithfully'
('Never fear me,' said the clerk) 'and honestly, and I will fulfil
mine. All I get out of it myself is my board and clothing, and you
shall have the same."
"Ah! my friend," the preacher might say, "how much wisdom there is in
John Jacob Astor's remark. What more has the Queen of England, or the
richest peer in the land, out of all their riches than their board and
clothing. 'So don't repine, my friend. Cheer up! I will come and fast
on canvas-back duck with you to-morrow, for it's Friday; and whatever
lives on aquatic food is fishy--a duck is twice-laid fish. A few
glasses of champaine at dinner, and a cool bottle or two of claret
after, will set you all right again in a jiffy."
If a man's wife races off and leaves him, which ain't the highest
compliment he can receive, he should visit him; but it's most prudent
not to introduce the subject himself.
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