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Haliburton, Thomas Chandler, 1796-1865

"Nature and Human Nature"

Oh! you are a lucky man, I can tell you."
"Well," sais old Minus, "how in the world does he own all them
animals?"
"If he don't," sais preacher, "perhaps you can tell me who does; and
if nobody else does, I think his claim won't be disputed in no court
under heaven. Don't you know him? Go and see him. He will make your
fortune as he has done for many others. He is the richest man you ever
heard of. He owns the Astor House Hotel to New York, which is bigger
than some whole towns on the Nova Scotia coast." And he could say that
with great truth, for I know a town that's on the chart, that has only
a court-house, a groggery, a jail, a blacksmith's shop, and the wreck
of a Quebec vessel on the beach.
"Well, a man went to him lately, and sais he: 'Are you the great John
Jacob?'
"'I am John Jacob,' said he, 'but I ain't great. The sun is so
almighty hot here in New York, no man is large; he is roasted down
like a race-horse.'
"'I don't mean that,' said the poor man, bowin' and beggin' pardon.
"'Oh,' sais he, 'you mean great-grandfather,' laughing. 'No, I hante
come that yet; but Astoria Ann Oregon, my grand-daughter, says I am to
be about the fore part of next June.'
"Well, the man see he was getting rigged, so he came to the pint at
once. Sais he, 'Do you want a clerk?'
"'I guess I do,' said he. 'Are you a good accountant?'
"'Have been accountant-book-keeper and agent for twenty-five years,'
sais stranger.


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