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Haliburton, Thomas Chandler, 1796-1865

"Nature and Human Nature"


"No," he replied, "I mean what I say."
"Well, Eldad," sais I, "my brother, I will answer both. First about
the election, and then about the process of healin', and after that we
won't argue no more, for you get so hot always, I am afraid you will
hurt my feelins. First," sais I, "I have no idea of runnin' agin a
doctor either at an election or elsewhere, so make yourself quite easy
on that score, for if I did, as he is my superior, I should be sure to
get the worst of it."
"How," said he, "Sam?" lookin' quite pleased, seein' me kinder knock
under that way.
"Why dod drot it," sais I, "Eldad, if I was such a born fool as to run
agin a doctor, his clothes would fill mine so chock full of asafoetida
and brimstone, I'd smell strong enough to pysen a poll-cat. Phew! the
very idea makes me sick; don't come any nearer, or I shall faint. Oh,
no, I shall give my superiors a wide berth, depend upon it. Then,"
sais I, "secondly, as to healin' by the first intention, I have heard
of it, but never saw it practised yet. A doctor's first intention is
to make money, and the second is to heal the wound. You have been kind
enough to treat me to a bit of poetry, now I won't be in your debt, so
I will just give you two lines in return. Arter you went to
Philadelphia to study, Minister used to make me learn poetry twice a
week. All his books had pencil marks in the margin agin all the tid
bits, and I had to learn more or less of these at a time according to
their length; among others I remember two verses that just suit you
and me.


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