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Haliburton, Thomas Chandler, 1796-1865

"Nature and Human Nature"

I never was
so glad in my life as when she came to stay with us; she was so
good-natured, and so cheerful, and so innocent, it was quite charming.
"Father took a wonderful shindy to her, for even old men can't help
liking beauty. But, somehow, I don't think mother did; and it appears
to me now, in looking back upon it, that she was afraid I should like
her too much. I consaited she watched us out of the corner of her
glasses, and had her ears open to hear what we said; but p'raps it was
only my vanity, for I don't know nothin' about the working of a
woman's heart even now. I am only a bachelor yet, and how in the world
should I know anything more about any lady than what I knew about poor
Flora? In the ways of women I am still as innocent as a child; I do
believe that they could persuade me that the moon is nothin' but an
eight-day clock with an illuminated face. I ain't vain, I assure you,
and never brag of what I don't know, and I must say, I don't even
pretend to understand them."
"Well, I never!" said Jessie.
"Nor I," said Janet.
"Did you ever, now!" said Catherine. "Oh dear, how soft you are, ain't
you?"
"Always was, ladies," said I, "and am still as soft as dough. Father
was very kind to her, but he was old and impatient, and a little hard
of hearing, and he couldn't half the time understand her. One day she
came in with a message from neighbour Dearborne, and sais she,
"'Father--'
"'Colonel, if you please, dear,' said mother, 'he is not your father;'
and the old lady seemed as if she didn't half fancy any body calling
him that but her own children.


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