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Haliburton, Thomas Chandler, 1796-1865

"Nature and Human Nature"


"'What's all this,' sais Colonel Jephunny, who came runnin' out of the
mill. 'Eb,' sais he, 'what's all this?'
"Well, the critter was so frightened he couldn't do nothin', but jump
up and down, nor say a word, but 'Sam, Sam!'
"So the old man seizes a stick, and catchin' one of my hands in his,
turned to, and gave me a most an awful hidin'. He cut me into ribbons
a'most.
"'I'll teach you,' he said, 'you villain, to throw a child into the
water arter that fashin.' And he turned to, and at it agin, as hard as
he could lay on. I believe in my soul he would have nearly killed me,
if it hadn't a been for a great big nigger wench he had, called Rose.
My! what a slashin' large woman, that was; half horse, half alligator,
with a cross of the mammoth in her. She wore a man's hat and jacket,
and her petticoat had stuff enough in it to make the mainsail of a
boat. Her foot was as long and as flat as a snow shoe, and her hands
looked as shapeless and as hard as two large sponges froze solid. Her
neck was as thick as a bull's, and her scalp was large and woolly
enough for a door-mat. She was as strong as a moose, and as ugly too;
and her great-white pointed teeth was a caution to a shark.
"'Hullo,' sais she, 'here's the devil to pay, and no pitch hot. Are
you a goin' to kill that boy, massa?' and she seized hold of me and
took me away from him, and caught me up in her arms as easy as if I
was a doll.


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