With this defect he reproached himself. Lilian had not
learnt to trust him sufficiently; she feared the result upon him of
such a blow as Northway had it in his power to inflict. It was thus
he interpreted her suicide, for Mrs. Wade had told him that Lilian
believed disaster to be imminent. Surely he was to blame for it
that, at such a pass, she had fled _away_ from him instead of
hastening to his side. How perfectly had their characters
harmonized! He could recall no moment of mutual dissatisfaction, and
that in spite of conditions which, with most women, would have made
life very difficult. He revered her purity; her intellect he
esteemed far subtler and nobler than his own. With such a woman for
companion, he might have done great things; robbed for ever of her
beloved presence, he felt lame, purposeless, indifferent to all but
the irrecoverable past.
In a day or two he was to leave Polterham. Whether Northway would be
satisfied with the result of his machinations remained to be seen;
as yet nothing more had been heard of him. The fellow was perhaps
capable of demanding more hush-money, of threatening the memory of
the woman he had killed. Quarrier hoped more earnestly than ever
that the secret would not he betrayed; he scorned vulgar opinion, so
far as it affected himself, but could not bear the thought of
Lilian's grave being defiled by curiosity and reprobation.
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