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Gissing, George, 1857-1903

"Denzil Quarrier"

But Mrs.
Wade's warning had impressed him deeply. It went with his secret
inclination; for, at this stage of the combat, to lose all his aims
would be a bitter disappointment. Rethought of the lifelong
ostracism, and feared it in a vague way.
"Mrs. Wade thinks he can be persuaded to leave us alone," Lilian
replied, hurriedly, using simple words which made her seem
childlike, though at the same moment she was nerving herself to
heroic effort. "See him, and do what you can, Denzil. I did my
utmost, dear. Oh, this cruel chance that brought him here!"
She would have given years of her life to say "Sacrifice all, and
let us go!" He seemed even to invite her to say it, but she strove
with herself. Sacrifice of his career meant sacrifice of the whole
man. Not in _her_ eyes, oh no!--but she had studied him so well,
and knew that he could no longer be content in obscurity. She choked
her very soul's desire.
"Shall I try to buy him off, Lily?"
"Do try, darling!"
"But can you face what will come afterwards--the constant risks?"
"Anything rather than you shall be ruined!"
A syllable would have broken down her heroism. It was on his tongue.
He had but to say "Ruin!--what do I care for ruin in _that_
sense?" and she would have cried with delight. But he kept it back.
"Sit down and wait for me. I will go and see him.


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