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Burroughs, Edgar Rice, 1875-1950

"Tarzan of the Apes"

As I was saying, Mr.
Philander, when you interrupted me, the Moors--"
"Professor Archimedes Q. Porter," broke in Mr. Philander,
in icy tones, "the time has arrived when patience becomes a
crime and mayhem appears garbed in the mantle of virtue.
You have accused me of cowardice. You have insinuated that
you ran only to overtake me, not to escape the clutches of
the lion. Have a care, Professor Archimedes Q. Porter! I am
a desperate man. Goaded by long-suffering patience the
worm will turn."
"Tut, tut, Mr. Philander, tut, tut!" cautioned Professor
Porter; "you forget yourself."
"I forget nothing as yet, Professor Archimedes Q. Porter; but,
believe me, sir, I am tottering on the verge of forgetfulness
as to your exalted position in the world of science, and
your gray hairs."
The professor sat in silence for a few minutes, and the
darkness hid the grim smile that wreathed his wrinkled
countenance. Presently he spoke.
"Look here, Skinny Philander," he said, in belligerent tones,
"if you are lookin' for a scrap, peel off your coat and come
on down on the ground, and I'll punch your head just as I
did sixty years ago in the alley back of Porky Evans' barn."
"Ark!" gasped the astonished Mr. Philander. "Lordy, how
good that sounds! When you're human, Ark, I love you; but
somehow it seems as though you had forgotten how to be
human for the last twenty years.


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