Then came the thought, How did they
begin to have faith? and it seemed to me that this step in the dark,
which I hesitated to take, was probably the very step by which these
great men had passed from a life of unbelief to their victory of faith.
This last thought came as a revelation. It had always seemed to me that
faith was an experience of the emotions or a satisfying of the
intellect, and that one might _obtain_ faith by the _initiative
of the will_ was a new idea to me. If this was true, the step in the
dark was not unreasonable but scientific and psychological. I was
certainly in the dark then. It could be no darker if I went forward in
the path to which my friend invited me. I decided therefore to take the
step and to pray for faith, hoping that in the process I should find a
Christian experience. And so I answered, "Yes, I'll do it."
My friend prayed with me and then I prayed, but all that I could say was
"Lord, show me the way." I was not conscious of any special interest, I
had simply willed to pray and wanted to believe.
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